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When did it suddenly become cool to hate everything? It's a growing problem, especially in the entertainment world, and no one benefits from an increasingly hard to please, pessimistic audience.
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Edit: Okay... I thought it was about time that I gave this a title. I know it's not an original title, but I think it suits the poem. If you think I should have just left it as "Currently Untitled"...then please let me know.
--In which a loner desperately wishes for a companion.. A mysterious man grants the person a friend, and in exchange...the person unknowingly surrenders something equally (or much more important.) Constructive criticism is welcome, but I can't guarantee that I'll go back to revise... eee This isn't the best display of my writing, but I really like the subject matter/concept... The raven photo is (c) Raven J. Brown. The person doesn't mind if it's distributed/used freely. [link] The poem was written by me, (c) E.Y. 04 |
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December 18, 2003
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Community News394 When did we start hating everything?`Rahll
 reports, 1d 19h agoWhen did it suddenly become cool to hate everything? It's a growing problem, especially in the entertainment world, and no one benefits from an increasingly hard to please, pessimistic audience. 278 Seniority Announcement - December 2009$chix0r
 reports, 1d 23h agoThe final round of Senior announcements for 2009! 95 Diversity Feature*nothingbuteverything
 reports, 1d 10h agoArt is so diverse, but we can appreciate it all! Showing the diverse talents of my watchers to the world! 76 400 Warming Christmas And Winter Images*rebeka-anne
 reports, 14h 53m agoA Collection of seasonal art of all mediums and genres, and from artists of all ages and talents from well seasoned experts to beginners. 58 wishing you happy holidays...*enemy-89
 reports, 22h 53m agoa wonderful collection-photography,digital and traditional works from my friends,from watchers and from people randomly found on dA.enjoy! 49 Daily Literature Deviations - December 24, 2009=DailyLitDeviations
 reports, 1d 9h agoDaily Literature Deviations is a group that is dedicated to bringing literature to the forefront of the deviantArt community. We attempt to accomplish this by daily featuring Literature artists from around the community that deserve the recognition, but are not getting it. Each day we will feature 5 deviations from the Literature categories in a News Article. In order to support the artists that we feature, we ask that you  the news article as well as check out the individual pieces. We understand that each day you may not be able to check out each and every one of the pieces, everyone has their own things going on. We just ask that you make an attempt to help support the growing Literature community. |
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Comments
i hate them
i would bite their heads off
and spit out their feathers
grin / no need to tell you your piece inspirid me
--
1) Line length. They're awkwardly long. Shorten 'em and they'll be fine.
2) The rhyme scheme is cliched and unnecessary. It doesn't really add to the poem and is very stumbly and awkward in places.
3) If you're going to use rhyme, a rhythmic meter of some sort needs to be in place. Otherwise it's wearisome to read. While iambic pentameter's a good place to start when looking at rhythmic meter, it is just that: a starting point. Play with meters, use unusual ones. Be creative!
Keep on truckin'
--
nope
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